Welcome to our museum.
I will be your docent for this event. Please hold all questions until the end of the tour.
For our first display today, we have a shell of a uterus. It was once used to create life, nurture life, protect life, but this model is defective. It could only successfully birth two smaller lives. The other four attempts birthed only heartache. It’s only function now is to produce a painful monthly reminder that the equipment doesn’t work, that it is a condemned building that they refuse to remove because it’s owner might change her mind, I mean my mind, and things might magically work again if she, I mean I, have enough faith.
If you look to the left, we have a rather mundane artifact called Loneliness. It seems to be the standard model but with the Netflix marathon upgrade. The owner, I mean I, would tend this artifact by watching her, I mean my, friends through social media as they moved on with their lives and forgot about about her, I mean me, because she is, I mean I am, stuck; stagnating in a revolving door of responsibility and expectations that are too tight for her, I mean my, wings but it doesn’t matter because she has, I mean I have, forgotten how to fly anyway.
If you will look to the right, you will find the Hall of Half-Truths. This is an interactive feature that requires you to see beyond the words that are spoken. If you have time to visit us again. I highly recommend it. Hear such wonderful tales as “I’m fine,” “I’d rather not chance it because the weather doesn’t look good,” and my personal favorite, “No, I just had something in my eye.”
Our final exhibit this evening is called “Eating Habits!” The owner’s eating habits are a marvel. She has, I mean I have, been swallowing the hurt until she is, I mean I am, too full to eat and lies about how she is, I mean I am, doing are vomited out leaving her, I mean me, hollow as we all pretend that nothing’s wrong.
Unfortunately, our Heart and Soul exhibit is temporarily unavailable due to reconstruction after multiple visitors mishandled the owner’s, I mean my, affections and abused the foundation. However, the reconstruction will install an upgraded kindness garden that will feature a beautiful mosaic of the broken pieces left from the destruction of the owner’s, I mean my, spirit reflecting for others the love and care that she, I mean I, did not receive.
Thank you for joining us today. We hope you have enjoyed the tour. Season tickets are available on a limited basis. However, if you are emotionally unavailable for a whole season, daily tickets may be purchased but understand that some, I mean most, features will not be available to you.